Winter Mix

How to walk in the snow: a PAMPHLET

"A word about footwear: snow has no appreciation for your kicky new shoes, and it cackles gleefully at high heels. Some say that this is misdirected envy, and that in truth snow would like nothing better than to pull on a nice pair of nylons (it just likes the way they feel against its skin) and slip into some Jimmy Choos. (This is sometimes referred to as "Carrie" snow or "High maintenance" snow.) These people are the same people who stop dead in the skyway to sing "Jesus Loves the Little Children" while everyone steers around them avoiding eye contact. The truth about snow is that it is always barefoot, and its feet are tiny.

All snow is enraged by corduroy pants, because they destroy the silence."

(See also Winter Survival Tips, A PAMPHLET.)

"If you will not wear the many layers of shapeless-but-practical winter garb of our culture, swaddling yourself in long underwear, boots, scarves, hats, hoods, and coats that give supermodels the appearance of being well-fed, then the merest shiver from you will become an invitation to rebuke. "You shoulda dressed warmer," we will say, in sober, disapproving tones, as if preemptively mourning your death by exposure."

Also, wrt The lastest Liberal Idiocies, zingerella has left nothing germane outside the nutshell.

Could someone please direct me to the insurrection?

Cool/Odd/Scary thing found via friendsfriends

We love helmet laws, oh yes we do

And by "helmet", we mean "a DOT-approved full face helmet, properly fitted, worn religiously and correctly, i.e. with the chin strap done up"

(They're animated renderings of radiographs)

Note to squeamish people: if you promise to either wear all the gear all the time or else never get on a motorcycle, you don't have to look, okay? You can go look at this really pretty radiograph of a seahorse instead.

Also, OK, fine, I just gave up putting my feet on the dashboard on long trips