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The excellent and lovely Tenacious Snail has written a useful and interesting addendum which addresses some issues around trans folks to my post about vulvas. Well worth checking out.
Feb. 24th, 2010
Useful Things
Feb. 24th, 2010 10:54 pm1) Put the puppy back on the paper.
I am learning slowly to bring my crazy pinball-machine mind back to this place of friendly detachment toward myself, so I can look out at the world and see all those other things with respect. Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper...
Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird.
2) If it's all you can do to get out of bed, get out of bed.
One morning when I thought it was all I could do to get up, I pulled myself out of bed, walked into the kitchen and scanned the cupboard for a clean coffee mug. There wasn't one. I walked over and stared at the mountain of dirty dishes in the sink for a long time. I just knew I'd never be able to wash them all. It hadn't rained in the night, but by the damp smell coming in through the window over the sink, I could tell that the dull California winter was finally coming on. And because driving onto the Bay Bridge and hurling myself off the edge seemed like way too big an effort, I decided to do one dish. And then another. I washed spaghetti sauce off the four "Hercules" plates we got from McDonald's. I scrubbed and rinsed every coffee cup I own. I threw away all the left-over soggy cereal in the bowls. I washed the pots, the utensils, the colander full of old, dried-out pasta. I rinsed each dish and set it on the rack to dry. Then, as I had learned to do in seventh-grade home economics, I washed the sink itself and wiped it dry. Somehow then, for a split second, looking at that spotless sink, I knew-- I knew for certain-- that it would not be so very long before the world seemed beautiful to me again. I am not telling you all this because I have some magical cure to offer you. My depression lasted a long time. I am telling you this because if this season has been the same for you, then I want you to know that you are not alone. And if you think it will never let up, well, I want you to know that you are probably mistaken. It will let up, slowly. It will let up whether you ask it to or not. And if you wake up one dull morning and feel as if it's all you can do to get out of bed, just get out of bed.
Ariel Gore, The Mama Trip
3) It's only pain.
It's only pain.
It is pain only.
All it can do is hurt you.
Jo Walton, Litany For Being Centred Through Pain.
ETA:
4) When overwhelmed with self-loathing, misanthropy, despair, and aimless rage, eat something with protein in it and have a glass of water. Then go for a walk or take a hot bath. Then take a nap. When you wake up, deal with whatever remains of the situation. There's a reasonable chance it will have gone away, and even if it hasn't you'll be in way better shape to deal with it.
I am learning slowly to bring my crazy pinball-machine mind back to this place of friendly detachment toward myself, so I can look out at the world and see all those other things with respect. Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper...
Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird.
2) If it's all you can do to get out of bed, get out of bed.
One morning when I thought it was all I could do to get up, I pulled myself out of bed, walked into the kitchen and scanned the cupboard for a clean coffee mug. There wasn't one. I walked over and stared at the mountain of dirty dishes in the sink for a long time. I just knew I'd never be able to wash them all. It hadn't rained in the night, but by the damp smell coming in through the window over the sink, I could tell that the dull California winter was finally coming on. And because driving onto the Bay Bridge and hurling myself off the edge seemed like way too big an effort, I decided to do one dish. And then another. I washed spaghetti sauce off the four "Hercules" plates we got from McDonald's. I scrubbed and rinsed every coffee cup I own. I threw away all the left-over soggy cereal in the bowls. I washed the pots, the utensils, the colander full of old, dried-out pasta. I rinsed each dish and set it on the rack to dry. Then, as I had learned to do in seventh-grade home economics, I washed the sink itself and wiped it dry. Somehow then, for a split second, looking at that spotless sink, I knew-- I knew for certain-- that it would not be so very long before the world seemed beautiful to me again. I am not telling you all this because I have some magical cure to offer you. My depression lasted a long time. I am telling you this because if this season has been the same for you, then I want you to know that you are not alone. And if you think it will never let up, well, I want you to know that you are probably mistaken. It will let up, slowly. It will let up whether you ask it to or not. And if you wake up one dull morning and feel as if it's all you can do to get out of bed, just get out of bed.
Ariel Gore, The Mama Trip
3) It's only pain.
It's only pain.
It is pain only.
All it can do is hurt you.
Jo Walton, Litany For Being Centred Through Pain.
ETA:
4) When overwhelmed with self-loathing, misanthropy, despair, and aimless rage, eat something with protein in it and have a glass of water. Then go for a walk or take a hot bath. Then take a nap. When you wake up, deal with whatever remains of the situation. There's a reasonable chance it will have gone away, and even if it hasn't you'll be in way better shape to deal with it.